I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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