Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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