I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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