Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
