She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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