She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
