At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
