I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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