guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
