One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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