I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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