people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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