careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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