I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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