Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
