seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize