garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
