I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
