Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
