he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
