yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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