What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
