Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Drunk is not a location!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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