your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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