he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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