are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
