check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize