That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
