Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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