she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
