if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
