is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
