Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
