I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
