That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize