Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this will be a night to untag.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
