I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Green mimosas i think yes
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
