I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just pynch a tree in the face
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize