I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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