you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
