so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize