They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
