i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
