Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
