also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
this hospital has no fireball
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
