Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
