Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
