Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
