hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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