so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
