I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So much rum. So many feels.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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