I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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