Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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