i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
