Already got asked if we're dating
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
