I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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