Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
