I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i would punch a child for taco bell
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
