No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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