I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
