Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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