I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
