I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ugly people sure do ruin things
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
