Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
