I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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