And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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